Premonitions
by It'sMyFavoriteSong
Summary: CBS .com posts extended previews for the new episode every week. This is my vault of completely and utterly unlikely predictions based on those previews. Updated with 8.11, "Ships in the Night"
1. Spider and the Fly

**I've decided that I need somewhere to put my completely unlikely predictions of what I would like to happen, so this will be a series of one-shots, based off of the extended previews shown on before (almost) every episode.**

**So, if you haven't seen the preview yet, GO WATCH IT. And uh, yeah that's it.**

"Are those tan lines?"

"Where do you think you're looking?"

"Does it even matter?"

"Well actually, yes it does. And I can assure you, I do not have any tan lines."

Eeeeeep! hehehe...

"WHAT THE HELL TONY!"

"Ziva?" Tony looked up in surprise as the angered assassin barged into his apartment.

"What the freaking hell?"

"Zee, I can't fix it if you don't tell me what's wrong…" Oh yeah, she was mad.

"I'm sorry, Tony, I just can't believe you asked me about my tan lines _at work_."

"You can't?" Had she never met him?

"Well, I can, but Tony, _Gibbs was right there_"

"He was at the top of the stairs Ziva, there was no way he could've heard us…" He was grasping at straws here, there was no chance of her calming down once she got to the breaking-into-his-home stage.

"Like hell he couldn't, he's Gibbs, Tony. He probably knows I'm here now!"

"So?"

"So? SO? So what if we get fired, or transferred?"

"You don't really thing Gibbs would do that, do you?"

Ziva stood quietly for a moment before letting out a long sigh. "No," she said, walking over to Tony and sinking into his embrace.

"Better?"

"Yeah."

"Hey Ziva?"

"Hmm?"

"You do have tan lines."


	2. Worst Nightmare, Part 1

"Palmer!"

"Oh! Uh, hey Tony. Dr. Mallard is still on his lunch break…" Palmer stuttered nervously.

"Don't be ridiculous Palmer, cant a guy comedown to the basement to see his favorite autopsy gremlin?" Tony had that weird smile on his face. He definitely wanted something.

"You obviously haven't me the new girl." This got his attention. Use of the "G word" _always_ got Tony's attention.

"New girl?"

Palmer nodded. "Sara Knox. And she's Scottish," he added bitterly.

"Ah," said Tony, almost-not-quite- understandingly. "A lass from the homeland, that's gotta burn."

Jimmy rolled his eyes, Tony had no idea.

"Well," Tony started, "is she hot?"

"Tony! What does that have to do with…"

"C'mon man, answer the question."

"Well…" was she? He had been a little upset at the time… "Yeah, she's not bad."

"Who's not bad Mr. Palmer?"

"Ah, Miss Knox, this is Agent DiNozzo. Tony, Miss Knox," he said, gesturing between the two.

"I told you that you could call me Sarah," she admonished. "It's nice to meet you Agent DiNozzo," Sarah smiled.

Tony leaned in to whisper to Palmer. "Not_ bad_?"


	3. Worst Nightmare, Part 2

**For whatever reason, CBS has two previews up… so, you get two chapters.**

"_What's going on here? We being replaced with younger models?"_

"_I am a younger model."_

"_If that was intended to hurt me, you've succeeded."_

"PROBIE!"

Instead of replying, McGee turned to his young intern and said, "Probie is short for Probationary Agent, _which I am not_!" He finished, raising his voice to address Tony.

"Don't get your panties in a twist McMentor, I just had a question."

"Yes, Tony?" McGee finally relented just to make him go away.

"Am I old?"  
McGee sat a bit shell shocked for a moment. How exactly did Tony want that question answered? Older than McGee, sure. More experienced in the field? Definitely. Certainly not as old as Gibbs…

"I'm not sure how to respond to that… so I won't."

"C'mon McGee! Ziva called me old, so I need to know, _am I old_?"

McGee could hold back his laugh. "Your girlfriend called you old?

"SHE'S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND! And yes. Well… not in so many words… but pretty much."

"What did she say exactly?" Now Tony had his interest.

"Well," Tony started, "she didn't actually _say_ I was old, she just said that she was young, and it was implied that she was younger than _me_ which means I. Am. Old."

"Tony. Gibbs fought in Desert Storm. You're not old."

"Well yeah, Probie, not as old as…" McGee quickly turned back to his computer.

"Let it go, DiNozzo. It's her job to terrorize you."

"Thank you, Boss."


	4. Short Fuse

**Well, I procrastinated, and now the episode already started, so all you get is a drabble-ish thing.**

"I've known ya too long Tobias."

"Aw, Gibbs, there was no way you coulda known it was gonna be too spicy."

"Too spicy for _you_ Tobias, I thought it was just fine."

Their voices faded as the two old friends retreated towards the elevator.

"What's with them?"

Tony chuckled, "Oh probie, so naïve… that's what happens when two old guys know each other too long. You start acting like an old married couple."

"You would know all about that, wouldn't you Tony?"

"I thought we were done with the 'old' jokes, Ziva."

"With you, Tony? Never."

He glared.


	5. Dead Air

**Aight y'all… sorry about last week, but CBS didn't post the extended preview. Now, normally when they do that, I'll just use the phoof pictures, but they didn't post those either, so… yeah. So anyways, I was going to use the phoofs this week, but like, 5 seconds before I started, CBS posted the preview. So, without further ado… OMG PHILLIES RUULLEE! … Eh hem… Without further ado, I give you…**

xxx

"I cannot even see where I am going, Tony, how are we supposed to find our seats?" Ziva asked, annoyed by the throngs of people flocking to the stadium. The only reason they hadn't been separated was because Tony had a firm grip on her hand.

"Piece of cake, Ziva, I've done this a thousand times before," Tony replied, glancing back to make sure she was okay.

They had walked the three blocks from the Navy Yard to the stadium after work, but the crowds hadn't been so much trouble until now.

"I thought the American food was pie, Tony," Ziva called up to him. He was only a few feet ahead of her, but it was so loud she could barely hear.

"Yeah, but that's not the expression," he said smiling as he finally pulled her out of the mass and into one of the dozens of tunnels she had noticed along the wall. Within seconds they were out in the stands, and Tony was pulling her down the aisle.

After arriving at their row, Tony not so politely shoved his way past the people already seated to get to the middle of the row. Ziva followed, excusing herself as the obviously ticked patrons awkwardly tried to move their feet to let her get by. She finally settled herself between Tony and a large man with a hotdog and an obvious ketchup addiction.

"Tony!" Ziva hissed, trying to get his attention. When he didn't look up from texting McGee that they were at their seats, she had to resort to drastic measures.

"Ow!" he yelled. "Zee-vah, no need to be violent, what's wrong?" She nodded her head in the direction of Mr. Ketchup.

"Switch seats with me," she pleaded.

He looked at the man on the other side of his partner. "Uh… No."

"C'mon Tony, please? You should be grateful that I'm even here, now… Switch. Seats. With. Me." She threw in a glare for good measure.

"Or," said Tony, his eyes taking on a familiar mischievous glint, we could just let McTardy have it…" he offered. She glanced from side to side before nodding her head conspiratorially.

Within seconds she had crawled across Tony's lap to get to the seat on his other side, next to a young girl of maybe 12 or 13.

Only a few moments later, they saw McGee making his way towards them, carrying two pretzels and a water.

"Hey guys, sorry I took so long, but the lines are ridiculous."

"Probie!" Tony cried. "You sound like you've never been to a major league sporting event before."

"Trust me Tony, there have been a few," he said dryly.

Deciding to let them argue without getting involved, Ziva turned back towards the playing field. She took a deep breath. The air was as frigid as a September evening should be, and damp from the Anacostia, just to their right. All in all, it was a beautiful night for baseball.

Tony had somehow gotten the tickets from a buddy who worked at the stadium. Apparently, it was an important game. They were playing for the… what was it? NCLA? No, that's not right… NLCS. Yes, that was it. She wasn't sure what it stood for, but Tony and McGee seemed excited about it.

Eventually, the game started, and Ziva was finding little interest in the game. "Tony, our team has barely even hit the ball," she said. "Isn't that bad?"

"Well…" he paused. "Yeah, it is. But the Phils have been to the last two World Series, so, they're the team to beat."

"So you are saying that we have no hope of winning?" she asked, still confused.

"Well…" he was having trouble finding the words to explain it to her. "It's not that there's _no_ hope…"

"There's no hope, Ziva," said McGee.

"Then why are we here?" This was making very little sense to her.

"Because, Zee-vah, we're playing for the Championship Series, which leads to the World Series, which is like, THE series. It's the holy grail of baseball."

"But…"

"No buts, Ziva," Tony said, cutting her off. "Just enjoy your baseball."

Ziva sighed and rolled her eyes, settling back in her seat. By the bottom of the ninth, the score was already 8-0, the Phillies fans were going nuts, and Ziva was freezing.

She didn't care if she was an American or not. Baseball sucked.

Xxx

**So, this ended up being really long for a "was supposed to be a short chapter about a baseball game" chapter… but I come from a baseball family, and… oh yeah. The Phillies are awesome. So, yeah. I choose this game (yeah, it actually happened, September 27, look it up) was not only because it was a great game, but because this happened:**

Megan: Is this game live?

Me: um… yeah? Why wouldn't it be?

Megan: I don't know, sometimes they tape it and play it later

Me: (rolling my eyes) yeah but not when it's going on.

Megan: oh

Tori: Why is it so bright? Is it daytime there?

Me/Megan: …

Megan: Ok, you are not allowed to call me dumb anymore.

In case you're wondering why it was funny, I live in Pennsylvania (hence the Phillies), which is in the same time zone as DC… and it was like, 9.

Yeah… maybe you had to be there…


	6. Broken Arrow

**Hey guys! It's been awhile huh? Well, don't blame me, blame CBS .com. They've been slacking… Tsk tsk tsk.**

**Eh hem- Well, of course this is one of the few weeks where CBS posts 2 extended previews, and since my computer's been down (the reason I haven't posted anything in 10,000 years) I don't really want to write two separate thingamabobs… so this is includes both extended previews and the regular one, because the look on Tony's face made me giggle. Yes, giggle.**

"Oh no, you think you're James Bond, don't you?"

XxX

Tony watched his father put his hand on Ziva's ass and nearly choked. Seriously. That was just wrong.

McGee watched Tony's face grow redder and redder by the moment and was finding it increasingly difficult to contain his impending laughter.

Gibbs listened quietly in MTAC as McGee tried to stifle his mirth, and couldn't help but crack a smile at DiNozzo's antics.

Trying to distract himself, Tony turned towards the other agent in the van.

"Hey McOwl," he said.

"Yes, Tony?" McGee asked, barely sparing the older agent a glance.

"How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie-Pop?" he asked, waiting eagerly for Tim's response. McGee rolled his eyes and was about to reprimand Tony for not paying attention, when the screens turned to snow, and they lost the visual on Ziva and Tony's father.

Two of the three men sat in stunned silence for half a moment, while the third was already half-way to his partner's rescue.

"Boss we're on the move!" McGee called before quickly jumping out of the van to supply backup if need be. Sure she was one of the best fighter's this side of the Atlantic, but it was known that she could be overpowered, and it wasn't a pretty sight.

He sprinted into the hotel, barely acknowledging the stunned college student at the front desk. He made his way through the mass of high-end party-goers to where Ziva and Sr. had last made contact, but there was no trace of either of them. It was then that he realized that he hadn't heard a word from the abnormally quiet DiNozzo Jr.

"Tony, where are you?" No answer. "Hey DiNozzo!" Still, nothing but muffled static. Just before the junior agent hit the panic button, he heard a commotion coming from down the hallway. He broke ran in the direction of the noise, only to find the door locked. It was a private room, he needed a key. Deciding to listen to his mentor for once, McGee lifted his leg and, in a rare display of strength, kicked the door in.

After registering the chaos in front of him, McGee gathered himself and put two rounds in the man who had Ziva against the wall by her throat, ducked under the lamp that was suddenly flying at his head, and located Tony, who had a second man almost unconscious on the floor.

After the dust had settled, so to speak, McGee had to take a moment to collect his thoughts. What the hell just happened?

He was, to say the least, shocked to find that Tony (Jr.) had Ziva wrapped in a bear hug that, even more shocking, she seemed to be returning. Two men lay motionless on the floor, and DiNozzo Sr. was nowhere to be found.

McGee looked back at his partners, who had yet to acknowledge his presence. Tony had his face buried in her neck, and he looked like he was never going to let her go again. Ziva, on the other hand, had a smirk on her face and was whispering something to Tony, which seemed to be calming him down.

McGee though back to how Tony had acted in the van. Was there something else going on here? Deciding, for everyone's sake, to leave them alone, McGee took out his phone to call a very angry Gibbs, his thoughts still on the two agents in the other room. How long had they been like this? It certainly hadn't started today? Shrugging to himself, McGee thought back to the conversation from earlier- The world may never know.


	7. Enemies Foreign

**Heeyyy guuyysss… it has been a loooonnngg week, I just saw the extended preview like, 30 seconds ago. Usually I watch it then let it sit for awhile until my muse drop kicks me in the face, but yeah, so here it is with twenty minutes to spare ;)**

**Scratch that… I need to think for a few seconds, so you guys try and predict my prediction… WOOAAHH! Haha, okay I've stalled long enough and now I have an idea. Not really… I'm just gonna go and see what happens.**

_XxX_

_Malachi…_

No, no he was gone. Gibbs said he wasn't coming back, he said… But he is here. He is here to take me back. He's going to force me to go back to Isreal… He can't. I am a citizen now, as Tony's hand on my shoulder so graciously reminds me. Free to do as I please, free to make my own mistakes. And yet, I am scared. Scared he will not care, he will do it anyways. Mossad can do many things; they can make it so no one ever finds out...

Once again, my partner's presence keeps me from panicking… Something I seem to be getting closer and closer to doing as Malachi continues to stare at me.

_OoO_

These split-second thoughts are enough to bring any able-bodied man to his knees, but she stands tall, not moving a muscle save for a small twitch in her left cheek. Barely noticeable, but he sees it. He says nothing, only stores it in his memory for later use. You never know, with this job.

He is there to make her life hell all over again.

He is there to protect her, like he always is.

She still hates him for what he did.

Maybe she'll get over it one day, but for now, she will just stand in his presence, trying to make sense of this life he has condemned her to.

**Woah, that was intense… haha, no, it probably sucked. I did like the ending though, how it could go either for Tony or Malachi… we shall see shant we? No, no we won't, because these are stand-alones, so no sequels.**


	8. Enemies Domestic

_Fist._

_Block._

_Swing._

_Block._

_Left, right, up, down._

It's routine. Despite years of trying to forget, this part has stuck with her. The one thing she has yet to regret.

It is unfortunate for this other girl. She received the same training, yes, but despite what she may think, she will never be as good as Ziva once was. It is doubtful anyone ever will.

Such a shame. The girl had promise.

_**XxX**_

**Drabbley drabbley drabble.**


	9. False Witness

**Oh Hai… no, I'm not dead! Silly goose you. So anyway, no extended preview for tonight, but since it's been FOREVER, I'm doing a chapter anyways. Short, yes, but it's something… and it involves Tony being an idiot, which is always entertaining.**

"I can't believe Gibbs has us out here tracking a god-damned turkey." It was 15 degrees outside. At most.

"It is not as if we have to find a specific turkey, Tony, we only have to find some droppings for DNA analysis." They had been out there for two hours, desperately searching for _something_ to confirm that this was where their crime scene was.

"Exactly, Zeevah. It's a week from Christmas and we're looking for bird poop!" Tony was quite obviously unhappy with his current predicament. He tried to keep his mind on the Barbados hotel room and tequila just seven days away.

"I am Jewish, Tony," Ziva said, her eyes fixed on the ground, scanning for any sign of it's possible turkey inhabitants.

"So? Isn't it Hanukkah right now? Don't you want to be home?"

"With what family, Tony? Besides, Hanukkah ended a week ago."

"Oh."


	10. Ships in the Night

**Wooooooo! Who's excited! I'M EXCITED! Haha, it's FINALLY here!**

**XxX**

"Zee-vah, don't go," Tony whined. She had been teasing him with her impending trip all week, and he couldn't take it anymore. Sure, "R" was a nice guy, and yeah he was gay, but still… he was Tony, he couldn't help it.

"It is only for a few days, Tony, I will be back before you know it," she assured him with an exasperated smile. Despite her best efforts, her determined boyfriend continued to pout.

"But I _will _know! It's gonna be the longest three days, like, ever."

"Tony! _Please_." She gave him that look and he shut up. She was scary with that look. He didn't understand why she was mad at _him_. She was the one leaving him to his own devices for three whole days. The wrath of Gibbs was his and his alone to bear when she was gone, not that Gibbs would ever take his constant bad mood out on _her_. It was no secret that Abby and Ziva were his favorites, but at least he was less harsh when she was there.

He sat quietly on the bed, only speaking when spoken to and making the occasional comment on an outfit choice. She finished just as the doorbell rang, announcing the arrival of their dinner. It was a tradition they had- part of Ziva's attempt to get Tony to eat better- to only eat take out on rare occasions, including when one of them was going out of town.

They ate in the living room, speaking very little and taking turns flipping through the channels. Tony was being quite, and it was freaking Ziva out. Her agitation grew to the point where she could no longer ignore it.

"What is wrong Tony?" she finally asked.

"Huh? Oh, nothing."

"Tony?" she said softly, unsure. She didn't like when he was upset like this, especially when she knew it was her fault.

"It's alright Z, I'm not mad at you," he assured her. He could feel her relax instantly, even if only a little, and immediately felt bad for giving her the cold shoulder.

"I am sorry that I am going away." If he wouldn't tell her willingly, she would drag it out of him.

Tony sighed, giving up. "I know honey," she wrinkled her nose at the nickname, eliciting a laugh from the increasingly less stoic boyfriend. "But I still don't want you to go. I don't like Rick, no matter how nice, or gay, he is. He is taking you away from me for three whole days, and I don't like it. Okay?" She smiled, and kissed him.

"Okay," a pause, "But I am still going."

**As usual, feel free to tell me how much it sucks… or doesn't suck *HINT HINT* hehe ;)**


End file.
